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Kim Jong-Il Seeking Boardwalk, All Four Railroads: Report

Growing concerns North Korean dictator already possesses Park Place; may try to monopolize region's property holdings.

December 15, 2006
Bite! News Staff


PYONGYANG - A State Department report suggests that Kim Jong-Il has instituted a top-secret progam to acquire the Boardwalk property, Bite! News has learned. Officials fear the move, if successful, will hyperinflate his impoverished country's value and further destabilize the region.

Some analysts suspect Kim has embarked on this plan to gain more leverage in stalled six-party nuclear talks.

"This is a bold move on Kim's part," says Cam Dreker, professor of international affairs at the University of Chicago. "Right now, if one lands in North Korea, it doesn't cost much. But if he succeeds, then it will cost ten times the amount. And that's not even with hotels.

"In a way, he's just found another way to blackmail the West."

The report also speculates that Kim may be actively trying to acquire the Reading, Pennsylvania, B&O and Short Line railroads.

"What this would do is potentially bankrupt the other regional players. Cash would flow into North Korea from Japan, China, Russia and South Korea. Industries would follow. The North could, in effect, become a new Asian superpower," says Dreker.

© 2007 Bite! News. All rights reserved.
This is a work of fiction created for satirical purposes only. Any confusion with real or actual events is unintentional and probably means that you are very gullible.






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